Weddings are a time of happiness, love, and stress? Yup. Stress comes with it too. I’m sitting outside a wedding dress shop, waiting for the other ladies. One of my best friends is getting married in the summer and it’s plan, plan, plan.
I’ve been married, divorced and, on top of that, I officiate weddings (when it’s a couple that stirs my soul). It’s given me a whole new perspective on weddings.
From a “been married” perspective, I remember finding it the most exciting thing to try on dresses. I looked up ones that I thought I would like, tried them on and they sucked. Then, went out of my comfort zone and they worked out great. Then, having to worry about costs and tailoring. I remember going in with a $400 budget in mind (I was 22 years old) and coming out with a $800 dress. It was the dress of my dreams. The perfect one.
From a “divorced” point of view, the dress was still worth it. After the wedding, it sat in my closet. Now, it sits in a box somewhere in my mom’s garage. I’m glad I didn’t spend more than a grand on it. I took more care picking my perfect dress than deciding if the person I was marrying was someone that would be my perfect one. I was so busy with the idea of a wedding and the idea of being in love when I should have been paying more attention to actually being in love.
From an “officiant” point of view, I have couples that have large weddings to those with small weddings. I found that it isn’t the size of the wedding, the date, the guests, what anyone is wearing or the location that really matters. It’s who you’re marrying.
Two of my favorite weddings that I officiated:
- The #Ranber wedding. It was huge. Probably over 200 guests, top notch venue, dresses, swag. It was a wedding that many brides would pin to their Pinterest boards. But it was my favorite because of the couple. Two of the most caring, authentic, wonderful human beings. You can feel their love for each other just by the way they look at each other. I had to keep it together during their vows. I was in the moment as they read them, but kept having to pull out to keep my eyes dry. Officiant can’t be ballin!
- Tanya & Joseph’s wedding. Totally the opposite of the Ranber wedding. It was at the local regional park. Immediate family only. Maybe 10 people were there. When I arrived on-site, they hadn’t even picked a location. They were in their moment, being with each other and pictures, of course! I found a nice tree and they said, “Perfect!” They got married to their best friends under a beautiful tree. It was beautiful. Yes, tears everywhere. Very intimate moment between the couple.
Weddings are about the experience.
It’s about the person that you are standing in front of while the beautiful words of the ceremony is spoken. It’s about who’s eyes you’re staring into and who’s lips you kiss. It’s about being 100% present and in the moment with that person.
What kind of experience do you want to remember?
If I were to do it all over again, I would pick whatever feel right at the time. Go with my gut instincts and tell myself that there’s no regrets. And also be smart about money. Don’t be spending your life’s savings. You have to have money saved. Important! Starting out a marriage broke because you spent it on a wedding is not great. Starting out a marriage broke because you both were broke previously…ha, well, that’s another story. If I get a divorce and I felt like I wasted my money, then I shouldn’t have had that expensive wedding in the first place. Yes, divorce can be a bummer, but it can also be a new start. To those reading this that are single or divorced, get out of your own way and let some magic happen. Find those moments that you’ll remember.
To those that are getting married, happy wedding, happy marriage. Read/listen to my other content because it will help your marriage.
Love you all.